Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
