Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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