I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
