So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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