where does the pee come out of this thing
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
