Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
