But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
