I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
