I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
