yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Everyone says I win the strip club
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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