So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize