Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
