Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize
