Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
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