brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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