I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
