It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
