She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
