I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
