You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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