Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
