so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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