Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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