If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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