Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize