I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
