i think i have herpe
just one?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
