On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
