Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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