idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
