No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
