Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize