You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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