happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
