I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
