he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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