Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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