I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
