Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
