why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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