I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just cropdusted the office
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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