hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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