Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
