Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
