This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
