how can u be prego again
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
