how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
