I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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