So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
