we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
