69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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