just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize