Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
