Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
