Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
