so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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