Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
