I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
