My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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