It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
