We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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