your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
