We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
