Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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