So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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