I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My dick has a subreddit
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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